I have seen better days. I think we all have seen better days.

I moved out of 1940 and into a friend from high school’s vacated, off campus apartment. I’ll be here until August. I did so in order to receive the housing refund from the university to save for next year’s rent and tuition. I am very lucky to have a place to stay, as I feared I would not. 

And when I say that, I mean that I had offers of places to stay. Don’t worry, you weren’t gonna see me living out of a box on the corner of Broad and Norris Street, but these offers would have had me feeling like a burden, and having lost my sense of pride. My friend’s family was paying for this apartment regardless of me staying here or not, and they were happy to have someone use the space. I found myself in a position where I was unable to turn down any form of assistance, so I graciously accepted their offer. With that being said though, in all of this quarantine craziness I am totally alone with no friends around, no roommates, no job to attend, no classes to get me out of bed, and quite honestly no desire to do much of anything at all.

I have been falling behind in school work, which sounds silly considering I have absolutely nothing else to be doing other than that. Especially when you consider the fact that during the first semester I had an 18 credit course load, worked 20+ hours a week, had rehearsal every week night and Sundays, and still managed to get a 4.0 GPA. But how exactly am I supposed to keep up when professors are demanding more, the only conversations taking place for two weeks now have been between my manic and depressive episodes, my sleep schedule does not even exist, I live life on the edge (not of glory, sorry Gaga), and my hair is suddenly pink because it is the only thing I can control in my life right now. It is obvious to me that it is not just school work. I am falling behind in every aspect of living.

I have been going to the grocery store for 1-2 hours each day, because it is one of the few socially acceptable reasons to be leaving your house. I stand around all too long looking at lemons, in which I have absolutely no intention of buying. I observe families, couples and roommates, all deciding what they need, what they want, what they should not buy, but might anyway. I am happy for them. I linger in the condiment aisle, reminding myself how many calories are in a serving of ranch dressing just for the fun of it. Being lonely in a grocery store does not look unnatural. No one judges, no one assumes, we all just go about our business. Two hours have gone by and I am leaving with four bananas. Color me successful.

I did buy roller skates though. I spent a total of 5 hours today (3/29) skating around campus minding my 6 feet distance from each passerby. I am trying my best. Maybe tomorrow I’ll do some laundry.

Here is to better days. 

-Vincent Cavallero