This past year was one of the hardest years of my life. From losing my friendship with my best friend to losing my Pop-Pop in life. I had to grow and learn from so many mistakes and heartbreaks that I can’t even count. In life we are expected to have these mistakes and heartbreaks but no one expects so many in such little time, or at least I didn’t.

I hate talking about the future but since I have to here I go. In a year I see myself stronger and loving myself as who I am. When I lost my best friend I didn’t only lose her, I lost all of my closest friends. This triggered me to feel worthless and hated. When this happened I never thought those I loved endlessly would be the ones who hurt me the most. Loving them for who they were flaws and all I didn’t expect them to point out mine and never even give me a chance to explain or become better. It all started when my best friend realized that she never really expressed how she felt genuinely because she was afraid of me and my strong opinions, because of this she asked for space. I understood at first and gave her that space but we never came back from it. I never got my true explanation just the small fragments of old conversations I tried to piece together. Because this year was so rough for me I definitely was not a perfect friend because there were times I needed to be selfish and focus on myself. 

Since I have come to college I have struggled with making real connections with my friends out of fear of getting hurt again. Slowly I’ve been letting down my walls and letting people in but it still worries me. The friends I found here are very genuine and positive and they make me feel very welcomed and loved. In the past my friends were filled with negativity and gossip and these new people have opened my eyes to what I deserve and what is important to me and my well being. In a year I want to have even stronger and healthier relationships with my friends and family. To achieve this will give more time to them without losing time for myself. I know that this is best from me from the mistakes I’ve made in the past. I yearn to find my lost confidence and strength and hold onto it and thrive.